What to do when you burn $150.00 worth of spare ribs.

There is a cabin in Cumberland, WI that is cursed. Evil spirits are lurking in the oven, and in the electrical box, and in the vintage Weber gas grill. Last summer, the spirits decided I was doomed to cook dinner with no power, in the dark with a flashlight, having to cook everything on the grill. This summer, they wanted to play with fire, and play with fire they did.

The theme for this year's summer cabin weekend was "Lets burn everything!!". Stefanie burned the pizza bread, Heather burned the bacon, and I burned the crap out of $150.00 worth of spare ribs. I have made these before, on the same grill, under the same conditions, but this year just wasn't my year. I think this grill hasn't really been cleaned thoroughly since about 1972, and there were uncontrollable grease fires, which then led to very unstable temperatures. I thought after the first two rounds of: fire-take the ribs off the grill-tame the fire-put the ribs back on the grill-try to get the grill hot again, that we were golden. Oh boy was I wrong. I put the ribs into stage two: wrapped with tin foil with liquids for steaming and went and played a very competitive game of bocce ball. When I came back about 45 minutes later, they were burnt to a crisp, stuck to the tin foil.


It was awful. This is something I am usually good at, and not only did I screw it up, they looked inedible. After a few tears, a LOT of swearing, and a large glass of wine to calm me down, I told someone to grab me two sheet pans and 8 forks. My team got to work, pulling the burnt bits off, and shredding the rest of the meat that was salvageable. I tossed all the meat with the vat of glaze that was supposed to go on during phase three, and put them back on the grill to bake for about an hour. The rest of the cooking went off without a hitch, smashed potatoes and cheesy corn rounded out the meal.

The verdict? It tasted exactly the same as last year, but now you could eat it with a fork, which I personally think is much less fun than tearing it off the bone with your teeth. It did however, make for a less messy and more civilized meal, but all I cared about was saving dinner. I mean, there isn't exactly a large selection of take-out places in Cumberland, WI. Most of all, I was happy to be with my best friends in the world, enjoying and laughing about yet another meal that almost didn't happen.


 
The best part of the shredded rib meat? Making sandwiches the next day. The ribs have a lot of Asian flavors in the glaze and the rub, so I made a big 'ol batch of this spicy cilantro coleslaw. Put the two together and you have some of the best sandwiches ever. Make this coleslaw regardless though, it is seriously amazing.


Spicy Asian Coleslaw
adapted from Kalyn's Kitchen


**This makes an absolute ridiculous amount of slaw, so I mix all the veggies, onions, and cilantro and freeze half of it for a later date.


Also, I use my food processor to shred all the vegetables. You can core and cut the cabbage into 2-inch slices then put though the slicer blade. I then use the slicer blade for the peas, and the grater blade for the carrots. If you don't have a food processor, you can just chop and grate everything by hand, it will just take longer.**


1 head green cabbage, shredded
4-5 medium carrots, shredded
1 bag sugar snap peas, sliced thinly
1 bunch green onions, white and green parts sliced thinly
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 cup peanuts, chopped


4 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons dijon mustard
4 teaspoons sesame oil
4 teaspoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons sriracha (a spicy red chili paste that you should have in your fridge at all times, trust me)
1/2 cup canola or peanut oil


Combine all shredded vegetables with the green onions and cilantro in a large bowl. In a small mixing bowl combine the vinegar, honey, mustard, sesame oil, soy sauce, sriracha, and peanut oil, and whisk to emulsify.


If you are making this for a large group, you can dress the cabbage mixture and toss with the peanuts right before serving. If you are making this for yourself and plan on eating it for lunch all week like I do, you can store the cabbage mixture in one container, the dressing separately, and the peanuts in a ziploc bag. I only combine what I am going to be eating immediately before consumption. This allows you to store your slaw for much, much longer than if you mix it all together, as cabbage can get soggy quickly.

You can eat a big bowl of this on its own, add some grilled chicken, or top your shredded rib meat on a french roll with it like I did. This winter, if you ever have leftover braised beef, this would be a great way to liven up your leftovers.

When something goes very wrong in the kitchen, keep calm (I myself don't usually take that advice, I admit) and get creative. Know that it will still probably be delicious, and if not, well you have a funny story to tell later. If anyone has any kitchen disasters that turned into a triumph, please let me know in the comments!

Another Reason I Want to Move to Canada.

One word: Poutine.

Poutine is amazing. It is everything that I love, all layered together in one dish. It is crispy, salty, gooey, rich, fatty, sinful, and absolutely delicious. It is just starting to make it's name here in the states, but is something I would consider moving to Canada for. A traditionally Canadian dish, I hear you can even get versions of it in fast food joints across the country.

But what is in it you ask? Are you ready for this? French fries. Gravy. Cheese curds. Yep, you heard me right, all three of those, smothered on top of each other to make an insane bowl of goodness. If this can't cure a hangover, I don't know what will. Oh wait, did I tell you I added leftover rib meat? It doesn't get much better than this, folks.


My first attempt at deep frying my own french fries, was just okay. They weren't as crispy as I would have liked, but I think perfection is in my near future. I was home visiting my family this past weekend, and my parents used a fry recipe from America's Test Kitchen, which starts the potatoes in cold oil, brings them to a boil and fries them for a good 20-30 minutes. The ones my parents made were freaking amazing, but mine need a little tweaking. It may have been my giant pot. Meet my new, wonderful, addition to my cookware family, a 13-quart LeCrueset dutch oven:


I call her Big Red. God she's beautiful. Anyhoo...

Even though the fries weren't quite up to par, drench them in fresh-from-Wisconsin cheese curds, beef gravy, and little chunks of Dad's smoked baby back ribs, and I didn't even notice.

Poutine
makes two very generous servings

I made a simple beef gravy since I didn't have any real stuff on hand. If you happen to have any leftover turkey gravy or pot roast drippings or something similar, feel free to use that. From my very sparse research I found that traditional poutine is made with chicken gravy, but I used beef since I was tossing in some leftover rib meat for good measure. As if it wasn't decadent enough.

1 pound yukon gold potatos, cut into 1/4 inch matchsticks
vegetable oil (just enough to cover your potatoes in the pot)
1 cup or so cheese curds
1/2 cup baby back rib meat (or any other leftover meat) cut into 1/2 inch cubes
2 1/2 cups beef stock
2 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons butter
salt and pepper to taste

Place cut potatoes in a large dutch oven or other deep heavy bottom pot. Fill with vegetable or peanut oil until potatoes are covered. Bring the oil to a boil, and keep at the boil without touching the potatoes for a solid 10 minutes. With my giant pot, I should have kept the burner on high the entire time, I believe I had the flame a bit too low. You want a good strong, but controlled boil for the entirety of the frying. After the first untouched 10 minutes, gently stir the potatoes around with a large metal spider or tongs. Let the potatoes fry at a rolling boil for another 10-20 minutes (depending on how crispy you want them), stirring occasionally. you can test a fry by taking one out of the oil and drying it on a paper towel. DO NOT go directly from pot to mouth, you will regret it.

When fries are crisped to your desired consistency, remove from oil with a spider and set to drain in a paper towel-lined dish. You can place the dish in a warm oven until you are ready to assemble if needed, but they are best right away.

While the potatoes are frying, melt the butter in a medium sized skillet over medium heat. Whisk in the flour and cook for just a minute until the mixture turns a light brown color. Slowly whisk in the beef broth and simmer over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes, until sauce reduces and thickens. Stir in your meat pieces and season to taste with salt and plenty of black pepper. You can keep this over low heat until the fries are done, stirring occasionally, or make it ahead of time, bringing it to high heat before topping the poutine.

When fries and gravy are ready, its time to assemble. Heap a pile of fries into a shallow bowl or plate. Top with a generous handful of cheese curds and pour the piping hot gravy over the top. I suppose you could sprinkle some fresh Italian parsley on top to give it some green, but really, what's the point?

Yes, its true you may need to run a few extra miles the next day for eating this. But it is seriously worth it.

Ribs, Potatoes, and a Power Outage

And the cabin fun continues.

Way back in February, at the last Cabin weekend, my friend's husband declared that he wanted ribs at the summer cabin weekend. Being that I am the one usually in charge of the big dinner at said cabin weekends, I was the one to make his decree a reality.

I knew exactly what I was going to make, My Dad's Ribs. My parents are exceptional cooks, and my Dad is a master at his grill. He has been perfecting his rib strategy for years and I figured it was time for me to learn how to make them myself, and learn from the best. (I promise I am not just sucking up so they will cook me dinner when they come to visit in two weeks, I swear)

After a few email exchanges of recipes, a few phone calls containing conversations such as:

'well how much mustard powder do I use for 5 racks of ribs?'
'I don't know, whatever looks right'

I had my plan, and a fairly vague recipe. I also had to tell myself to trust my instincts and to just go with it. So I went.

My Dad says that he got the original recipe form an article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune newspaper about a decade ago and has been changing and tweaking it ever since, therefore I have no clue how close the current recipe is to the original. What I do know is that it is the perfect mix of sticky, sweet, spicy, and savory, all grilled to absolute baby-back rib perfection. Served with roasted potatoes, sweet corn, and an Asian slaw (post to come), it was a summer meal to remember.

Even after all the planning that was put into this meal, there of course was a kink. The ribs were in hour-6 on the grill, the potatoes had just been put in the oven to roast, the first round of corn was just starting to boil on the stove. The sun was starting to set over Moose Point Lodge, tummies were starving, and then, the power goes out. Crap.

We went into crisis mode for a few minutes until I could think about what the heck I was going to do with two sheet pans full of raw potatoes and half cooked corn on the cob. Everyone offered their help and between the ten of us were ably to pull of this meal, even in a dark kitchen with no oven. Luckily we had a grill. I took the ribs off the grill, wrapped them in foil and put them into the warm oven. The potatoes went onto tin foil sheets onto the grill where they roasted for about another 45 minutes.

The corn hung out in the hot water and actually finished cooking. I rigged a lantern to hang from the kitchen cabinet and mixed up the coleslaw. Everything was still shockingly warm when we finally sat down to eat in the porch with candles and lanterns burning away. It was quite romantic. There were almost no leftovers so I can safely assume everyone enjoyed the dinner, and I did hear someone say "screw Famous Daves" at one point during the meal. I will take that as a compliment.

Dad's 3-2-1 Ribs

Adapted from the Minneapolis Star Tribune

I used 5 racks of baby back ribs for this, and I had the butcher cut them in half for easier handling. The measurements for the brine and the rub are nowhere near exact, but that's okay. Put in a little more of what you like, a little less of what you don't, and the ribs will be perfect for your taste buds. The 3-2-1 title refers to the time (in hours) spent on the grill in various ways: 3 hours on the grill, 2 hours wrapped in foil with liquid to steam, and 1 hour back on the grill bathing in sauce. It seems like a lot of work, but it is so, so worth it.

Brine

One handful kosher salt

One handful brown sugar

a few tablespoons of dried thyme, dried rosemary, black peppercorns, garlic powder, powdered ginger

3-4 crushed bay leaves

Put into 2 gallon Ziploc bag with ribs and add water until the ribs are covered. Let sit refrigerated overnight.

Rub

You can make as much of this as you want, put what you need on the ribs and save the rest for a later use.

2 parts onion powder

2 parts garlic powder

2 parts paprika

1 part powdered ginger

1 part hot mustard powder (or regular mustard powder, just add a little extra cayenne if you like it hot)

1 part thyme

1 part rosemary

1 part freshly ground black pepper

1/2 part salt

1/2 part cayenne

1/4 part cinnamon

1/4 part nutmeg

Mix all ingredients together, put in an airtight container until ready to use.

Sauce

3 cloves of garlic

2 inch piece of ginger

1 tablespoon of Siriacha (Asian chili paste)

1 cup raspberry vinegar

1 cup honey

1/2 cup soy sauce (I used gluten-free tamari)

1/2 cup Dijon mustard

1 cup olive oil

Puree garlic and ginger in food processor until it forms a paste. Add chili paste, vinegar, honey, soy sauce, and mustard and pulse to combine. Then, stream in the olive oil while processor is running to emulsify. Pour into saucepan and simmer over low heat for about 15 minutes until the sauce thickens just a bit. This can be made in advance, refrigerated, and reheated before applying to ribs.

When you are ready to start cooking, take the ribs out of the brine, and rinse well under cold water, making sure to get all the excess salt and herbs off the meat. Pat dry with paper towels and sprinkle the rub over one side of the meat. Let sit for a minute or two and then rub into meat with fingers or a fork. Flip ribs over and repeat. Let the ribs rest at room temperature while you prepare your grill.

Preheat your grill to high, and set up for indirect grilling. If you are using gas, turn the front and back burners on and leave the center burner off. If using charcoal you can put a drip pan in the center and arrange the coals on either side of the drip pan. When the grill gets hot, clean the grates and lower the temp until it hits 225-275. This is where the temperature should stay for the next 6 hours. Place your ribs on the grill over the center burner that is off, or over the drip pan, close the lid, and leave them alone.

Note: I prefer to use charcoal, but if like me, you find yourself cooking ribs at a cabin with only a gas grill at your disposal, it is possible to still get nice smoke flavor. Place some soaked wood chips (I used apple wood here) into a large piece of tin foil and wrap into a packet. Poke holes all over with a fork (including the bottom) and toss it onto an unused part of your grill.

Also, I had a ton of ribs and a very small grill. In order to keep all of the ribs over indirect heat, I had to stack them on top of each other. Since these are being grilled for such a long time, it doesn't really affect it too much, as long as you swap the ribs, bottom to top and vice-versa every 45 minutes or so. Note that this may add a bit to your cooking time since you are opening the grill more often and letting all the heat out.

After the ribs have been on the grill for three hours, it is time for stage two. For the next two hours, the ribs will basically steam on the grill, to make them absolutely tender and moist. Take the ribs and place them in a large sheet of HEAVY DUTY tin foil. Mold the tin foil up around the sides so as not to let any liquid leak out. Pour about a cup or two of chicken broth, beer, or cola (water is fine as well) into the bottom of the foil, and cover and seal with another sheet of foil. Now go have another beer (or go for a spin on the pontoon like I did).

Two hours later, it is time for the final stage. Take the ribs out of the tin foil and put them back directly on the grill, over indirect heat (the same as stage one). This time though you will be liberally applying the sauce every 15 minutes or so for one hour, until the ribs are almost falling off the bones, and are smelling heavenly.

Take the ribs off the grill, wrap them back in foil and let them rest for at least 15 minutes before eating and enjoying.

Go ahead lick your fingers, you know you want to.